Category Archives: Musings

the Dark side.

Today should have been a happy day in Milan – the rain disappeared, the sun was shining, I had a handful of relaxed castings and a fitting for the Costume National show. However all of that has been completely overshadowed by the sudden death of a young male model here in Milan.

I only just caught word of the news a couple of hours ago whilst at my CN fitting. We were all waiting to be fitted in the reception when one model received a phone call informing him of the tragic news. Tom Nicon, a 22-year-old french model who was a runway sensation and had been the face of many major designers such as Versace, Louis Vuitton and Burberry, had fell from his apartment window and been rushed to hospital where he died. It is not yet known if it was an accident or suicide, but either way it is such sad news and a huge loss. It really hits home – I had seen him just a couple of days ago at a casting.

After the fitting, me and another model from my agency travelled back to our hotel together discussing the drama at the fitting and our excitement for the show tomorrow. We would be walking it together – it was to be his first show as well. Though when we returned to our hotel, my friend received a message saying that Costume National had cancelled him from the show. He was gutted. As was I.

I still feel so awful for him. It’s one thing not booking any shows at all, but it’s almost worse when you book a show: the client CONFIRMS you for the show: then they cancel you just hours before. Evil. Pure fashion industry evil. Nothing is ever definite in this industry until you are actually there doing it.

Hearing that he had been cancelled from the show immediately sparked worries in my head. Still now I am sat with my phone on my lap fearing that same cancellation message from my booker.

My emotions are all over the place right now but above all I am completely ecstatic at the thought of walking the Costume National show tomorrow. I have to be there for 9am for hair and makeup, rehearsals etc and the show starts at 12 midday. Look out for me and wish me luck that I make it to the show okay without any last minute cancellations! Stand by for my most important blog yet with all the backstage details.

Random snaps from the days casting run to follow…


'The Best' team on the casting slog.

the 'Alex' sandwich - tastes better than it looks!

sneak peek into a couture wedding gown showroom. I die.

sleeping model at Costume National fitting.


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the BLOG is BACK.

I’ve been in Milan since Sunday night but have been unable to update my blog because the hotel where I’m staying charges ridiculous amounts to use the internet. It’s called ‘The Best Hotel’. No joke. Me and my two Dutch roommates renamed it ‘The Crappiest Hotel’ – one very hot room, one squeaky ceiling fan, zero air-con, three army style beds literally so close that they touch eachother, zero fridge, zero kitchen, ZERO INTERNET. We spend the majority of our evenings wondering how on earth the hotel earned it’s two stars.

Though it may not be ‘The Best’ hotel, I am having ‘the best’ time! It’s great to be back in Milan for show season and I’m just enjoying each day as it comes and the experience. Shows or no shows, I’m loving being here again. And considering I wasn’t even going to come this season, that’s pretty good going.

So much has happened the past few days – casting madness has ensued and the heat is pleasant but doesn’t help when you’re trying to look young and fresh for clients whilst dashing around the city like a mad man.

There have been some MAJOR moments over the past few days so here are just a few of my favourites…

Model watch: Alex Dunstan, Francisco Lachowski, River Viiperi, SIMON NESSMAN!! I DIE.

Real life casting craziness at the Armani casting – boys pushing and shoving, arguments breaking out, tv cameras filming, and models ‘BAH’-ing loudly like sheep – very funny cos it’s like we are sheep being herded but thought I was going to get trampled for a second. Check it out…

And speaking of Armani, I got to walk for the fashion legend that is Mr Georgio Armani himself at the casting! It was by far the most intimidating situation I have ever been in and needless to say I was rather nervous, but what an honour to be in his presence. After it was my turn I stayed behind to take some sneaky snapshots ‘cos I may never get the opportunity to be in the same room as Mr Armani again…

Some amazing casting destinations. The huge black chandelier at Dolce & Gabbana is bananas…

More updates coming in the next few days providing I can steal some internet from the neighbouring hotels so keep checking in!


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I was shocked to learn of the terrible tragedy that is the death of Lee Alexander McQueen earlier today. What a terrible loss. The man was a genius, there is no doubt about it. The entire fashion world is in complete shock.

His Fall/Winter 2010 Womenswear collection was scheduled to show in Paris in a matter of weeks so the tragic news comes at an unfortunate time . It is a sad sad day indeed. I am devastated. It is impossible to imagine what the man must have been dealing with in his life to want to end it so suddenly. It certainly suggests that all was not what it seemed.

It’s incredible how you can be so effected by the death of someone you never even knew. I had hoped to one day meet him and am saddened that I will now never get the chance. However I am so grateful to have been lucky enough to have watched his last ever show and will treasure that memory forever.

Thankyou Mr. McQueen for your incredible and unforgettable contribution to fashion. You have helped to put British fashion on the map and have pushed the boundaries of design to new and unimaginable levels. Your genius will live on in the millions you have inspired. You will be sadly missed. May you rest in peace.

Lee Alexander McQueen, 1969 – 2010


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Back to reality.

I woke up this morning in my own bed back in little old Medbourne, England.

When you are in Milan and in the centre of all the fashion week craziness it is easy to live it and believe it. But now that I am back home, it seems almost unimaginable that a world so outrageous and magical really exists.

It feels like the entire trip was just a beautiful and elaborate dream…

How totally marvellous.


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Milan, day 6

I’m starting a collection of casting signs from around Milan like these ones…

Today was pretty dismal if I’m perfectly honest, and so was the weather.

I’m really starting to feel the pressure to book shows now and it’s playing on my mind 24/7.

When standing in line at castings you here people gossiping about so and so who booked the Jil Sander exclusive, or so and so who got confirmed for Armani. It’s extremely competitive between all the guys out here and after a day of bad and pointless castings I’m not in such a great mood. But reading all the lovely comments from you guys is making me smile now (and seeing how many views the blog is getting everyday)!

I think after the incredible day I had yesterday, nothing was going to come close today. I’ve just eaten some pizza and choc chip biscuits to cheer myself up (how very un-model of me) and am more determined than ever to up my game tomorrow as the casting week begins to draw to a close (castings run until Friday, shows start on Saturday).

On a different note, there are now five of us in the model apartment. We’re all getting along fine. Last night was movie night…we watched Whip It, directed by Drew Barrymore, which I really enjoyed and definitely recommend.

Castings for tomorrow include Vivienne Westwood, Roberto Cavalli, Moncler and Gianfranco Ferre among many others. Hoping some more designers might show their faces at the castings, and that the rain stops! Hopefully I’ll have some good news to report back tomorrow and I’ll be back to my usual chirpy self!

An early night is on the cards me thinks so that I am refreshed and prepared to battle the day head on tomorrow.

Ciao for now xoxo

Ps. Though I’m pretty certain I didn’t book Prada, the casting was still a great experience… 10 of us got called in at a time and then your name was called out and you walked for the casting director (Russell Marsh) in this huge room covered in tall mirrors absolutely everywhere. The room was spectacular but very intimidating. Even though there were quite a few bodies in the room – 10 models + a few of the clients – the room remained deadly silent throughout the entire casting. Very nerve racking indeed. It was nice to be able to see yourself doing the walk for once though in the mirrors! I felt bad just whining and moaning and not actually telling you anything interesting or fashion related so there’s a bit of inside scoop for you from today!


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Milan, day 4

I always used to read articles online or in magazines or see videos on youtube where models would say how much they dreaded the fashion weeks and I could never understand why. Until now.

Talk about intense!

But although today was tough, I enjoyed it so so much! It was like for the first time I was a real life working model and boy did I love it! As I am typing this I am very proud of myself as I managed to get to all 7 castings today. I have literally been to every area of the city, at some points sprinting up streets and leaping into metro carriages in order to make it to each casting for the specific time!

Not all of the castings went well however. My two most important of the day were a request for Burberry (my fave) and an exclusive for Jil Sander. (a request means that they’ve requested to see you (duh), and an exclusive means that you walk exclusively for that one designer and no one else that season – one of the best things a model can book as the pay is notoriously good) The Burberry casting went really well so I think I am in with a chance at that, but the Jil Sander casting was a complete disaster so I’m praying for a miracle on that one!

It’s simply amazing how the streets of Milan are literally taken over with male models for a week or so in January. Everywhere you look, every corner you turn, every metro carriage you get into, you are guaranteed to see a model. And you can tell instantly that they are. The give-aways are pretty obvious: tall and slender with chiselled cheek bones, a portfolio sized rucksack on their back, map and casting sheets in hand, or more often than not a cigarette.

When waiting in line at a casting you can often feel rather average! These boys are beyond perfect. I’ve never seen a beauty like it. It’s almost superhuman. Most of the guys look like they’ve just walked off the pages of a blue chip advertising campaign, and that’s simply because they have. These are the best of the best that the agencies have to offer in the hopes that one of their boys will book that coveted spot in the show. I have been surrounded by some of the top male models in the world all day long…these are guys that I see on the covers of magazines and even feature on my fashion wall in my bedroom! It’s so surreal. Just today I walked past Cole Mohr on the way to a casting for Costume National. Then I was on the metro with Jethro Cave. And then, to top it off, I saw my ultimate favourite – Taylor Fuchs – two places in front of me at the Diesel casting. (You may not be familiar with these names but trust me, they’re huge.) It’s so strange because it makes you realise that they really are just ordinary guys, the only difference is that they are blessed with unparalleled beauty.

Today has quite literally been a dream come true for me. It was everything I imagined it would be. A full day of running around Milan casting for top shows and designers at the most beautiful offices and surrounded by models who I admire and look up to is something I never thought I would get to experience. So very grateful.

However I’m not here just for the experience. There are jobs to be booked and only time will tell if I actually manage to land anything major. With tomorrow comes a whole heap of new castings: Dolce e Gabanna, Etro, Neil Barrett, CP Company and Louis Vuitton. None of them typically go for guys with my look so will be interesting to see what happens…

As always, keep checking in to find out.



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Okay, so…I officially SUCK at blogging!

The last time I blogged was last decade! And if I’m being totally honest, I’d completely forgotten that I’d even started this blog at all! Terrible – I know.

But in all fairness it has been the Christmas season and I’ve been terribly busy over indulging myself as I just know you have been too!

But do not fret my dear ones – with only a few days until my trip to Milan I plan to blog much more frequently.

So watch this space…

Oh, and Happy New Year – I’m declaring 2010 as mine.

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